


Friends ? Yeah,right.

by unicornseverywhere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Secret Crush, Student Eren Yeager, Writer Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), ereri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-02-25 11:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2620466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornseverywhere/pseuds/unicornseverywhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi doesn't have any friends, and he's okay with that, but everybody needs to vent out sometimes. Levi uses an online therapy website, where he meets Eren Yeager, but what were the freaking chances they lived in the same God damned apartment complex? They meet and their relationship grows in something more than friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Do you have any friends ?

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic and I would love if you could comment and tell me what you think. If you think I can do something to improve my writing, please don't hesitate to tell me, I'm sure I've got a lot to learn, but I hope you enjoy anyway.

Do you have any friends? Do you really? I know you think you do. We all do. But think of it this way: There are many people around you, many see your smile, many hear your laugh, but does anyone look into your eyes ? And if they did, would they even notice that there's no happiness in them, just emptiness? Would they even care? You are around the people you call friends everyday, you put on a happy face and they're okay with it. They don't want to see what is wrong with you, because if they did, they would have to pretend to care, and that's just too exhausting, isn't it? It's just to hard for them to look into my eyes and see the pain. So they choose oblivion. Not that I mind any of this,really. Being alone, or rather being lonely is something I'm used to by now.

I used to have a friends. There was this girl Hanji I knew. We were in middle school together. She was what you would call my best friend forever.. who are we kidding ? The 'forever' never lasts. She was annoying and very exited about everything, she had a very bubbly personality, kind of my opposite actually.. Well I guess that's why it worked out for as long as it did. I would have kept her around really, but she got a scholarship and went to France. She was very good at biology, so it's not surprising actually. After she left the friendship was kinda lost on the way. We still talk from time to time but it's not nearly as often as before.

Then there was Erwin. He was some sweet eye candy while I was in high school so I didn't dismiss him as soon as he tried to spark up a conversation but, I guess that didn't work out either. He was just the type that runs a company and is all 'business man' like, and I am a writer. I sit home alone all day and do my 'job' whenever I feel like it. There was no common ground.

And there are people I know and who know some things about me, but I wouldn't call them friends, more like acquaintances, people like Petra, the coffee shop owner from where I drink my usual black tea, or Gunther, the doorman of the apartment building I live in.But then, there are days, when I feel like a shitty human being and I feel the need to 'talk' to someone, all I actually do is go on this stupid website where you talk to strangers that listen to all your bullshit, pretend to care, and then pretend to help. But it's worked every time. I don't say my name, and I don't get one in return, I just vent to someone I most probably won't talk to ever again. It's nice... somewhat. It's better than losing my fucking mind from all the shit I keep bottled inside me, isn't it ? After all, the only other way of relise is writing my painfully realistic stories about death and a cruel but beautiful world that doesn't exist... for anybody else but me.

It was starting out just like every other shitty day in my life, with me growling in my bed, procrastinating getting out of the warm, cozy sheets. Of course I didn't need to get out of bed, but my daily runs have become somewhat of an addiction. I can't function properly if I don't go running at 7 A.M. and then take a shower so hot that would make a fucking demon jealous. So that's exactly what I do, I get my lazy ass out of bed and move. It's only 2 hours later, when I come back into my room after a long relaxing shower that I see the date. It's been a long time since I thought about them, but I guess today is just the perfect day. I kept them alive in my stories until now, not ready to face the truth about their deaths, how it was all my fault and how any other normal human being would have made the right choice. They've been dead for a long time, even if I don't want to accept it, so I may as well do them some justice. I go to the fridge in my small, cramped kitchen,( I never seem to do anything in there so I don't see how the nonexistent space would help anyway),and take my trusty bottle of vodka out. I'm gonna need it if I'm going through with this. I stare at the blank screen for a few moments before my fingers start flying over the keyboard like my life is depending on it. My laptop isn't all that new, not that I can't afford one (apparently people actually read and enjoy the normal words that I put in a particular order and make them seem like more than day are. I honestly just use them. I don't see anything particularly 'beautiful' about it, but hey, as long as it get's the money in my pocket than I'm not complaining.) it's just that I don't give a shit as long as it does the job. After 5 hours of putting my eyes through hell, and after I drank more than half of the vodka, my stomach begins to protest the lack of food throughout the day. I go the fridge once more and take out the leftover pizza I ordered sometime yesterday. I decide that I wrote enough for today so I flop out on the couch, turn on the TV and, see a marathon of NCIS is about to start. Oh goody.

Apparently, I am more tired than I knew because I wake up after my 'little' nap and it's 3 A.M. I don't have any memories as to how or when I fell asleep but I can feel a few sour points in my back from staying in a bad position for a long time.  
Well, now would be as good of a time as any to try and vent out to some random stranger that probably doesn't give a shit about my problems and just wants to feel better about himself by saying that they helped someone... or maybe this is just me being bitter. It's 3 A.M. though and I don't know what kind of psycho hangs around this site at this time, but I guess they may think the same about me... oh, well.  
I re-boot my laptop open and start the browser, search for the website and wait to be connected to a stranger who for all I know could live on the other side of the world, or the apartmen next door to the right.

" You have been connected. Why don't you start by saying 'hi'." The stupid website says. Like I don't know how to start a simple conversation. I know I'm a socially awkward person but this is just insulting.

" Hey there. I'm Eren. How are you doing ? :) " Oh great, another 'ray of sunshine over the plane grey world'. I could close my computer and try to do this another day, when I probably won't find someone so obnoxious at 3 in the morning... or...

" Hello."


	2. " Wanna talk about it? "

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is all dialogue. Literally. That's all they do... Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I kinda go from no dialogue at all to all dialogue, but I promise next chapter is gonna be balanced. Oh, and please don't get used to a chapter every day. .... Anyyyway, I hope you enjoy.

" Hey there. I'm Eren. I'm 22. How are you doing ? :) " Oh great, another 'ray of sunshine over the plane grey world'. I could close my computer and try to do this another day, when I probably won't find someone so obnoxious at 3 in the morning... or...

"Hello." When I don't wright anything for another minute he says:

"Are you alright ? You don't sound very happy. Do you wanna talk about it ?" Stupid brat, I only said one word and he already assumes. 

"Why would I be here if I didn't want to talk about it, you shit for brain ?" Okay, maybe that was a little to rude. And he will disconnect in 3...2...1... 

"Haha, you're right. So, what seems to be the problem ?" He asks this so nonchalantly, how am I supposed to tell a person who I bet has tones of friends that I litteraly have none. Well, I guess I could start by actually including him in the conversation and stop overthinking this in my head.

" I have very little social skills and I don't have any friends, and before you say you're sorry or other shit like that, just know I don't care. I don't need any friends, sometimes I just need to complain about all the crap in life and that's what I'm here to do."

" Okay, stranger ( by the way, you still haven't told me your name) what is so crappy about your life ?" Well, I didn't expect that one... He's got determination, I'll give him that.

"Well, I'm a writer and my editor keeps stressing me out about a new book, and then there's the fact that I live my life is an continous state of bordome and I'm getting old, which is kinda depressing." Way to pour your heart out for someone Levi, good job. 

" You know what's a really good book ? 'The Walls' it's my favourite, I have a signed copy of it, but anyway, why isn't your book over yet, or is your editor stressing you for no good reason ? and how old even are you ? You could give me that if you're not gonna tell me your name." Well... That was random, and what were the chances that this kid's favourite book is the one that I wrote ? And he has it signed ? That means I met this guy ? That means we live in the same country... wait, what ? Why do I even care ? It's not like there is an actual chance we'll ever meat.

"Yeah, I read 'The Walls' , kind of morbid though. And I'm 30. And yeah, my editor is a pain and is in fact stressing me out for no reason." Let's keep the 'I'm the author of your favourite book' thing out of the conversation for now. See how this go's and the kid might have a surprise at the end.

"Well, I'd say it's the truth and not the pretty lies that get shoved down our throuts by the people around us every chance they get. Even if it's placed in a cruel world, it makes the impact that much more stronger. And you're not even old dude, what are you even talking about ?" Okay, this brat is full of surprises. If I wouldn't have wrote the book I would buy a copy now just because of that description. What happened to this kid to make him think that 'people are monsters' (the subtle message of the book, so subtle actually, that most people don't get it at all) is the ugly truth of the world ? He's 22 damn it ! He shouldn't even be aware that monsters that are human exist. 

"What happend to you?" I ask without realising when my fingers move across the keyboard. I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my buisness. I just want to think he had an easy life, but I'm pretty sure that if he answers, my hopes will be shattered.

"Hm ? Aren't we here to talk about you ? Could you please tell me your name ?"  
Shoud I ? Should I not ?

"It's Levi."

"Hey, why are you here now ? It's 3 A.M. "

"Oh, I didn't realise we're playing 20 questions. And you do realise I could live in a completly different time zone, right ?" Well, now I know we live in the same time-zone.

"No, but we could, if you want to. I'm actually bored right now, that's why I'm here, and yes, I do realise I just... Idk, okay, I didn't think before writing that." That much is obvious. Now, does the kid really expect me to say yes to 20 questions ? ... But I do wanna know more about him. Don't ask me why, but he seems... interesting, in the least.

"Okay, yeah. It's 3 A.M. where I live too, and I'm here becase I can't sleep. Do you have any family ?"

"Wait, are you serios ? you actually wanna play ?! Awesome ! Yeah, I have an adopted sister named Mikasa and a best friend, but we're more like brothers. His name is Armin. Where do you live ? I'm just curious, now that you said we live in the same time-zone." Well he doesn't sound exited about this whole game thing at all.

"I'm from Trost. What about you ?"

"YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME !!!" Why, did I say something ? "I'm from Trost too." No fucking way.... nope, there is no way this is real.

"Are you shitting me right now ? What are the chances of something like this happening, ever ?" 

"I know, right ? Where exactly do you live ? This is just too cool. " That's a little too suspicious...

" I don't know you, I don't really think giving you my home adress is a good idea."

"Oh come on !!! you have to tell me, this is too huge to let go of, you can ask me anything and I'll answer if you tell me where you live."

"Anything ?"

"Yup."

"I live in the appartment complex near Trost University, I went there and I baught the appartent when I started, I couldn't find it in me to sell it after I finished." I find myself saying more than I intended once again. What is this brat doing to me ?

"Okay. This just became creepy."

"Why ? and btw, my question is, why do you think the book message is the truth, what happend to you ?"

" Why ? Why you ask ? Because I live in the same freaking complex ! "

"Are you serious right now ? What is your appartment number ? And stop avoiding the question. You said you'll answer."

"I live at 29. And it's a really long story."

"I don't care. And I live 3 floors above you."

" How did I not see you before ? We can go for coffee tomorrow if you really want to know about it."

" Maybe you did you moron, you just didn't know who I was. And yeah, we could go for coffee. Meet me in front of the complex at 10."

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Levi."

"Yeah, yeah. See ya."

'Chat disconnected'  
What just happened ? Oh well, I guess I'm meating Eren tomorrow, huh.


	3. Strangers no more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren finally meat and we find out some things about Eren's past.
> 
> aaand I suck at summarys. I am so sorry for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's a new chapter. It's longer than the other 2 and I really hope I don't dissapoint you with the whole meating thing.  
> Enjoy !

It is 8:30 A.M. and I've been awake for the last 2 hours. I went running, came back and took a hot shower, and now I'm standing in front of my closet, picking clothes like I'm some 12 year old girl going on her first date. This is not even a date. Get a hold of yourself, Levi, and while you're at that, you might wanna try stop talking to yourself. Well i guess that's what happenes when you have no friends. 

My lack of inspiration in the fashion departament this morning is quite surprising, I am usually just throwing random stuff on and I still manage to not look like I've overslept and put my jeans inside-out and a hurricane hit my button-down shirts drawyer. After my eyes search the closet for anything that says ... Wait, what do I even want to say with my outfite ? Maybe something between the lines of ' I'm the one who wrote your favourite book' and 'I'm hot and I make it a point to show it to everyone ' I decide on some dark skinny jeans that hug my thights just right, a black button-down and a dark blue blazer. Don't ask me why I dress so formal, I just do, and I've realised now I need to go clothes shopping pretty soon, my wardrobe is getting shabby. 

After I dress up I go to the kitchen with the intention to get a quick breackfast but I stop midway there, remembering we're going for coffee and I might as well get a muffin while I'm there. So with nothing better to do, I start cleaning my apartment, nothing major so I don't get my clothes wrinkled, only sweeping the floor and washing the dishes ( I still can't believe I let them in that state last night. I never do that ). 

It's a quarter 'til 10 so I decide to go outside now. I might as well smoke a cigarette before the brat shows up. I make my way down the stairs(I never take the elevator, to many germs in too little space)and stop in front of the door with the number 29 on it. This is were the brat lives, huh. I don't get out of the house much so I don't know any of my neighbours, I only see them around the building sometimes and give them a short nod, if that. There are many students living here, considering the short distance to the University but it's unexpectedly quite, which I'm actually grateful for.

I get outside and take a place on the first bench near the building, light my cigarette and let the cold air chill it's way through my bones. I don't generaly like the cold, but today it's weirdly comforting. I hear the door open and close, I hear footsteps heading my way but I only look up when the person seats next to me.

He has a mess of chestnut hair that looks like it never met a comb, but weirdly, he can pull it of. His eyes though, make my breath catch. They are a weird blue-green color, but they are so bright and simply beautiful. He has a thoothy-grin that show he's perfectly white teeth. He is wearing a green hoody with light grey ripped jeans and dark green converse. Did it realy had to be him ? The single person in his apartment complex which I recognise because I find him atractive. Oh, shit, I find Eren atractive. Well that's going nowhere... by the way the kid look he has to have a girlfriend, and even if he doesn't, he probably isn't even gay. Well this is a cruel joke from the universe.

"Hi. I'm Eren. You must be Levi, right ?" That chatches me off guard for a minute. His voice is so cheery and calming at the same time. He has a hand streched out to me and I take it sheaking it slightly.

"Yeah, that's me. We should go. What coffee do you wanna go to ?" I ask as if I'm not affected at all by his sheer presence. I think I'm starting to develop a crush here. Is this even how a crush feels like ?

"Well, there's this place called Sina two blocks from here. They have a really good coffee and I haven't eaten breakfast yet, so we can go and eat some muffins there as well."

"Sounds good to me." I stand up and start walking down the sidewalk. Eren stays behind for a while and then starts jogging to cach up. "Why did you stay behind ?" 

His cheeks get a little bit pink at that and oh Sweet Baby Jesus can he be cuter than that?   
"Oh, no reason. No reason at all." I snort, yeah, 'cause that sounded believable.

The rest of the walk is spend in a somewhat awkward silence, but I can't say I really mind. I need to figure out If I'm gonna tell Eren I'm the author of 'The Walls'. I should wait a bit longer, right ? Maybe get him to tell me what happened to him, that's why we're here in the first place anyway.

The coffee is big but still has a cozy air to it. The smell of coffee envelops us and the warm of the small buiding is welcomed with open arms. The walls are painted a dark red colour which has a great contrast against the light brown counters, tables and chairs. There are paintings and drawings on every vertical surface available which makes to room feel even more home -y. 

We walk up to the counter and I order a big Pumpkin Spice Latte and a blueberry muffin and I turn to Eren waiting. When he doesn't say anything I urge him. "Well ? What do you want brat ?"

He huffs slowly at the 'brat' comment I suppose and mumbles something that sounds dangerously close to 'old man' for his own good.He looks up at me eventualy and with a resigned sight he answers "A black coffee and a chocolate donnut shoud be fine."

I take our order and head for the table in the far corner of the caffee, next to a big glass window, without waiting to see if the brat is following, of course he is.

We sit down and we each take a sip of our hot drinks. Okay Levi, now would be a good time to put what little social skills you have at work. I wanted to start interrogating the brat but he beat me to it. 

"So what were you doing on that website at 3 A.M. ?"

"I thought I told you that yesterday. I couldn't sleep. I started writing and fell asleep, woke up at 3 in the morning and started talking to you." Why do I feel the need to give this brat explenations ? I swear to God, this kid is gonna be the death of me.

"You were writing ? Awesome ! What were you writing ?" Okay, now what do I do ? Why did I let it slip that I was writing ? Do I tell him I wrote the book ? The kid starts staring at me when I don't answer so I reply with the safest answer I can manage. 

"It doesn't really matter what I was writing, now does it ? You said yesterday that you read 'The Walls' ? why don't you tell me about it ? And by the way, what's your major ?" I have a feeling this brat likes to talk, so lets lead the conversation towards him. I don't feel like sharing any more things because of a slip of the tongue.

"Oh yeah, I read it. The best book ever ! I have it signed but unfortunatly I didn't meet the writer, a friend got it signed for me." Well, that makes sense. " And I major in Art." So the kid's an artist huh ? I like it. Wait ! What ? Levi, rewind a bit. Are you a fucking idiot ? You don't even know the kid. You DON'T like him.

"Are you okay ?" Eren asks this with concern on his face and a worryed tone... like he actually cares. But that's absurd right ? 

"Yeah, I'm good you little shit, don't worry 'bout me. So you gonna tell me about what we talked yesterday ?" I might as well show the kid what he's getting himself into now. I'm not gonna sugarcoat my way of being for this brat. It would only bring missunderstanding problems in the future, in case there is something like that in this case. 

Eren starts eating his donnut and opens his mouth to speak before I shove a napkin into his face. "Oh my God, you brat ! Didn't your momma tought you not to fucking chew with your mouth open ?"  
At this, the kid looks at me like I said the most ofending thing in the world ? What the fuck ?!

"I'm sorry" he doesn't sound sorry at all "but my mom died when I was 7, so no, she didn't quit get the chance." Well now I feel like shit.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." That's all I can say. I wish I could tell him I'm sorry he had to go through that, that I hope he had a happy life even if he didn't have a mom, but the words get stuck on the tip of my tongue.

He looks apologetic, like he just realised he snaped, before saying: "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You didn't know. I just get all defensive whenever someone starts talking about my mother. And if you really want to know, that is what happened that made me realise how many monster live among us... and whithin us. My mom was killed. I learned to grow up on my own basically ,sense my dad was drunk most of the time, but I managed. That was until I was 15 and my dad found out I was gay. He beat the crap out of me and kicked me out. My sister came with me against my protests and we eventually found a place to stay after many weeks spend on park benches and many, many horrible jobs. After we managed to get back on our feet, we continued high school. We bouth got our GEDs. She got a scholarship at a University in Sina and I managed to convince her to go after I got accepted in Trost. After she left, I rented the place where I stay now, and here we are." Well, that was... a life confession. But it's so ...sad. I wish his life would've been happier. I guess he deserves to know at least who I am, after he told me all that. Oh, and here's another small fact I caught while he was talking. He's gay. 

"What's the name of the author that wrote 'The Walls' ? And I'm glad you got to the University and your on your own to feet now. What do you work ?"

"Thanks. I have a part-time job at a Coffee on campus, and I get money by selling some of my paintings, so I manage. He's name is Rivaille Akarman. Why ?"

I don't answer. I simply open my wallet, get my I.D. out and hand it to him. He stares at it for a few moments before reaching out and finally taking it.  
He gasps, surprise obvious on his face, and then his eyes land on me, and they seem to sparkle. I have to say, this moment is almost endearing. Almost. I know he's waiting for me to respond but I just shrug and look out the window. I know this looks like I'm avoiding his gaze, but no, that's not what I'm doing. Not at all.

"This is amazing. You are such a great writer ! I-" He says all this in one breath but I cut him half-way through his sentence. 

"I really hope you're not gonna give me the 'I'm so onored to finally meet you' crap. I've heard that enough times. Don't treat me any different. 'Cause if you do, I'm gonna be sorry I showed you that." I point at the card in his hand and he hands it to me wordlessly. I'm starting to worry here. Did I disapoint him that much ?

When he finally looks back at me his eyes are still sparkling and he flashes my the brightest grin I've ever seen. I swear to God I'm gonna have to start wearing fucking sunglasses when I'm around the kid. Well, at least he doesn't seem upset or anything about who I turned out to be. 

"I was going to say that I can't believe we're friends! " His voice wavers a bit when he says this, but there is also so much confidence in his tone that he takes me by surprise.

I don't know what this is, but it's a nice feeling. Friends.


	4. Routine and Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the times Levi and Eren spend together. And Levi being an insecure little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookay. First of all, I want to thank you all for the kind comments or the kudos or just for taking the time to read this fic.  
> Second... please don't hate me.  
> Oh, and the chapter is kinda short.. sorry for that too.

After our first meeting, me and Eren kinda fell into a rutine. We would go to the little caffee in the neighbourhood for breakfast, then he would go to school and during that time, I did some writing while I could. If the brat knew I was writing the sequel for the book while he was in the same 20 meter radius of me he wouldn't shut up about it until I told him some small, almost insignificant detail from the book.. but of course, he didn't have to know that. When he came back from school he was in my apartment before I knew it, doing his homework or projects or whatever the hell he was doing on my living room floor. If we felt like it we would go to a walk in the park, or head to the coffee to buy some sweets( apparently, we both had quit the sweet tooth). And if we were to lazy to move our sorry asses, we just watched a shitty movie, or the kid would cook me dinner. He was actually really good, but the best compliment I ever gave him was "not bad". I think he knew that's as good as it gets because he always had this stupidly beautiful grin whenever I offered him the small praise.

Since we live in the same apartment building, the kid wouldn't live me alone. At first I thought it was weird that the kid never went out on week-ends or going to clubs whenever he had the chance. He's 22, isn't that what brats his age do ? My curiosity was soon setled when I found out I was one of the only friends he had. I found it hard to believe at first, but he explained that he has many buddys and all that but me, Mikasa and Armin were his best friends. This is all scarry for me, considering I went from no friends at all to a best friend in what seems like a few days. Which leads me to my point, I have a crush on my best friend.

At first I tought I could pull of the whole 'I just find him attractive' shit, but as I got to know him better, it became obvious it was more than that. I manage to hide it well though, so well it gets to the point where I think the brat thinks I'm 'tolerating' him. Oh, if only he knew.

I never let emotions slip past my stoic face. There were times when it was hard to keep my emotions in check but I managed.

There was this time, a few weeks ago I think, when we were watching a movie at my place, nothing unusual about it, it's not like it was the first time, and I was walking out of the kitchen, bowl of popcorn in hand and sit myself on the couch while Eren hooks my laptop to my TV and starts some lame comedy on Netflix. And then, the brat sits down, right next to me. It's not like my couch is huge or anything, but still the close proximity in which he was in wasn't totally necessary. I brushed it off though, even if my heart rate was picking up pace, not puting it past the kid to sit closer to me to have an easier reach to the popcorn. We watch about half of the movie, and I can feel his shoulders shacking with laughter from time to time. I have to admit it was a nice feeling. But then the little fucker put his head on my shoulder and I stiffen. I let out a slow breath before relaxing back into my seat. The brat doesn't seem to notice my mini panic-attack, but my blood is pumping so loud in my ears that I almost can't hear that angelic laugh of his. He doesn't move for the rest of the movie, and I'm fine with the actually comfortable position, but damn kid, give my heart a little warning before you go and almost make it stop.

Then there was another time, we were talking a walk in a park, again nothing unusual, and Eren was rambling how he and Armin were spending their lunch breack and some 'Horse-face' was hitting on his little mushroom. I made a face at that. Was he calling Armin 'his' because they were a couple now ? Had things escaleted between them ? Why didn't he tell me ? I though we were best friends, right ? Or did that change too ? He must have noticed the scowl on my face because the next thing I knew, he stoped in front of me, took my hands in his soft, warm ones, looked me dead in the eye and said " Just so you know, me and Armin are just friends." after he said that, his mind seems to have catched up to his body because he steped back next to me and avoided my gaze, mumbling under his breath that "..not that you care or anything. Just putting that out there." Even after he moved by my side, I noticed he hasn't let go of my hand, he just... continued walking, effecivly draging me after him. We looked like.. like a couple. But we're just friends, right ? But friends don't walk hand-in-hand in the park, right ? What does this even mean ? What is the kid thinking ? Is he attracted to me ? And if he is, why isn't he saying something ?..... Okay, I'm going crazy, clearly.  
I'm pretty sure the brat has douzens of guys at his feet. I mean, why would he even like me ? I'm just an anti-social old man, who writes morbid stories about death for a living. 

And he... he's beautiful. His sun kissed skin is soft and warm at all times, his messy mop of brown hair if perfect just the way it is, his smile could cure cancer and stop global warming, but most of all, you could easily fall in love with his gorgeus eyes. The colour of the sea, sky and the most beautiful forrests all in the irises of the boy who stole my heart.

Wait. What ?! 

This kid is turning me into a sap. Well, no matter, I already made my decision. To never let Eren know how I feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said.. don't hate me ? I wanted to let you know, next chapter is going to be a bit... angsty. Don't worry, nothing... major, per-se, but I just needed something to happen, you know, plot and all... but I promise my two favourite dorks will get their happy ending :)
> 
> Oh, and if anyone wants to be tumblr buddies here is my account :)   
> http://bella-fuckingunicorn.tumblr.com/


	5. It just had to go crashing down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi wakes up in the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, new chapter. I couldn't keep you guys waiting any longer sence I already had the chapter done. I should really make a day when I update, but... neah  
> This chapter is... weird. I didn'y know what to do with myself after I wrote this. Is it good ? Is it bad ? arghhh... anyway, tell me what you think, would you ?
> 
> aaand if you want to be tumblr buddies here is my page: 
> 
> http://bella-fuckingunicorn.tumblr.com/

Waking up in a hospital bed is never a pleasent experience. It's confusing, scarry as fuck and it's surely and undoubtebly lonely. You have nothing better to do than stare at the ceiling, and think of everything you did that lead you there. Every mistake, every measure you could've taken to avoid getting hurt. And every thing you thought about, before everything went dark. What you wanted to do with you're life, who you wanted to see, at least one more time. And you think that the last thing you said to the most important person in you're life is 'brat'. That's it. Not goodbye, not I'm glad we're friends, not you are the best thing in my life right now, not thank you. None of those things. And then, when you're eyes open after whatever the hell happened to you, you see nothing but white, too much light to destinguish anything and silence, so you're left pray to your thoughts. 

Now, if you really want to know how the hell I ended up in one of the most uncomfortable beds the world has known, I'll tell you.

I was walking to the caffee where I usually go with Eren, but the brat was studing with Armin today, so I was alone, good thing after all that the kid wasn't with me. I had my earphones on, the volume making sure I didn't hear absolutly anything else beside the music blasting my ears of. I was walking. Fucking walking. I was on a pedestrian crossing, in the middle of the streat, when I saw people starting to run like they've seen hell... and maybe they had. The sudden pain in the right part of my body told me what had occured before my brain catching up quit yet. It was horrible. My earphones flew out as soon as the car made contact to my already small body and I could hear everything now. People gasping, screaming for 911, the car tires screeching to a stop, my bones crashing even harder as I hit the paivment after I was in the air for a good few meters. It was a mess. I was a mess. I could feel the warm blood creeping out of different sides of my body, the pain was still there, agonizing, but all I could think about was 'I can't die here. Not now.' Honestly I have no idea where my determination at the time came from. Until it happened I was pretty sure that if I was in that situation I would just give up. Oh well, I'm here now so that didn't happen. But the last thing I remeber clearly were hands on my body. Moving me, puting me on something soft. I couldn't make out the noises anymore and my eyes had gave up trying to stay open after the shock. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to see anything anyway.

The door to my perfectly steril room opens, and I see a small blond girl, with big baby-blue eyes, that I swear looks like an angel. Oh, I guess the nurse job is great for her. She looks at her chart before actually looking my way, but when she meets my eyes a heartwarming smile catches her features, and she speaks.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're awake. I'm Krista and I'll help you with anything you need during your stay."

"Hi. How long have I been out ? And how long do I have to stay here ?" I ask. A little bit concerned, really. I don't want to stay here longer than necessary. I don't want to think anymore. And I want to talk to Eren. 

Oh shit. Eren. He doesn't know anything

"Oh,well there's been a little over a day since you came in. And the doctor will probably let you go as soon as he checks your cast and makes sure you don't have any internal bleeding anymore. Can you tell me you're name and how old you are ? Just to see how you're memory works right now." Now that she mentions it, I look to my right arm and can indeed see a cast. How did I not feel that until now? Well, that's gonna be a pain. And really this girl is too kind, but I am kinda in a hurry here. Eren has probably sent me douzens of messeger for sure. He must be worried. I have to talk to him.

"My name is Rivaille Akerman, I'm 30. My memorie works fine. I really need to call someone. Could you bring me my phone please ?" I'm surprised I could keep my voice from wavering and I still managed to be polite. Somewhat.

"Okay. I'm glad you're memory is good, but you're phone got broken in the accicdent. Do you know the number of this person ? We tryed calling you're familly but we didn't find anyone in our records. I'm sorry."

Well, good thing I knew the brat's number by heart. And don't give me that look, you all know how I feel, of course I'm gonna learn his number. 

"It's fine. Yeah, I know the number. Are you gonna give me a phone ?" I hope so, or I don't see how this is going to go well.

"I'm sorry but we can't do that. We will have to call for you. Could you give me the number and name of the person ?" 

After I gave her the necessary information, she thanked me politely and left to room. I stared at the ceiling again. This isn't going to go well. Not well at all. If the hospial calls Eren he's gonna be even more freacked out then he probably is. My face grows paler and paler as I realise this. The kid is gonna freack out. He'll be worryed. I don't want him to worry about me. I'm fine after all, which by the way, I consider a miracle.

But with the toughts of Eren, my mind drifts in another direction. The last thing I said to him was that he was a brat. That's how he would have remembered me by, if I were to die. Which wasn't totally impossible. I don't want that. Eren deserves better. I almost made him lose one of his best friends, because I can't walk on the street without getting hit by a car, apparently.

If I wasn't his friend, then maybe he wouldn't have suffered if I died. Maybe he would have heard about me on the news if he was even watching. Maybe he would have said something like 'What a shame' and then moved on. 

But this are all 'maybes' and 'ifs'. Things happened already. It is what it is. I thought for a second to end my friendship with Eren and ultimately spare him of future hurt, but I soon realised that's not possible anymore. I just can't.

My door flyes open once more and I see Eren. Oh God, how I missed seeing his stupid face. I can see he's panting, and his hear is stuck to his forhead by a small layer of sweat. How did he get here that fast, I'm pretty sure it hasn't been more than 15 minutes sence Krista left . As soon as he looks at me, he lets out an almost pained gasp, whispering my name. He runs to me and his beautiful artist arms surround me with a pleasent warm feeling. He's hugging me. It's the first time he's ever hugged me. I hug him back, with my good arm, and my ears are filled with his calm, soothing voice continuously whispering in my ear.

"You're okay. You're okay."

Yes, I am more than okay Eren.


	6. "Does this mean... ?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren does something unexpeced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of, I'm sorry I took this long to post the new chapter, but school has been a bitch to me this past few days.  
> Second, I really hope you enjoy it, and I would like to thank everybody that takes the time to read my little story. 
> 
> Comments, kudos and anyway you can tell me your opinion is highly apreciated.  
> Thanks

Armin is my best friend. I know him sence we were in kindergarden and we've been practictly glued to each other from the day we meat. I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me. He was the person I came out to and he helped me a lot. He is calm, rational and kind, whereas I am rush, aggresive and kinda sarcastic... and by kinda I mean full time sarcasm, but he keeps our relationship steady. I call Armin whenever I need advice. I call Armin whenever I am excited about something and I call Armin whenever I need to get something off my chest, so it's only normal I call Armin about this... let's call it 'situation'. 

I was going crazy.I needed to talk to Armin, so I made him meet me, even if he had an exam next week, he agreed, on the condiotion I go to his place, which I did. As soon as I got there I was greeted with a cup of steaming coffee. I don't know how Armin knew I needed one. Maybe it was the dark circles under my eyes from the last sleepless nights, or maybe it was the groggy tone I had on the phone. Or maybe he just knew, he does that sometimes. We were sitting in the kitchen at the four person table. I had my hands folded in my lap, while Armin was writing on his laptop. The only sound in the room was the sound of the keys being pushed by delicate fingers. After only a few minutes of a somewhat comfortable silence Armin pushed me :

"Well ? Spill ! what is this about ?"

I knew I couldn't find a good way to say this so I just blurted it out. " I think I like Levi. "

Armin stoped his tipping, looked up at me slowly, like I would run off if he moved to suddenly, and then he got this weird look it his eyes. 

"Eren, are you sure that is what you're feeling ?" That's the problem ? He think's I don't know what I'm feeling ? That's bullshit. 

"Yes Armin. I like Levi. I like everything about him. I like the way he forrows his brow in concentration whenever his writing. I like that he's a clean freak. I like the way his voice sounds. I like the way the sun makes his face look younger. I like how soft his hair looks. I like that he seems cold and rude on the outside, while on the inside he is... well, still rude, but kind and caring. I like that he didn't push me away because of my past. I like that he doesn't judge me based on the fact that I'm gay. I like everything about him Armin. How can you even think I don't know what I'm saying ?" 

"Eren, I didn't say you don't know what you're feeling. But do you really think everything you said is considered you crushing on him ? Eren, you're in love with him."

It's weird that it took saying all of it out loud for me to realise it, but I guess Armin's right. As always.

"Yeah. I guess I am, huh. So what do I do ?"

"What do you mean 'what do I do' ? you tell him, of course ! he sais it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it should be, but that's not the case for me. As I answer with an equally obvious answer.

"Of course I'm not gonna tell him ! I don't even know his sexuality. And even if he was into men, I don't want to ruin our friendship by confessing and having him not feel the same way."

"But what if he does Eren, what -"

"But what if he doesn't Armin ? I'm not telling him."

Armin looks at me with disappointed eyes, and nods ones, ending the subject. I'm grateful for him not pushing me any further, but I'm sorry I disappointed him. I really hope he get's over it fast, because there's no way I'm changing my decision.

After a few more hours of chating about nothing and everything at the same time, I decide to head home. I say goodbye to Armin and enjoy the fresh air as soon as I leave his apartment building. The distance to my place is pretty long, so I decide to call Levi on the way, to save time. It would be nice to call before I storm into his house from once in a while, right ?

His phone is dead. That's a little surprising, considering he's always keeping it so close to him, as if he's expecting a call at all times. I shrug it off for now. I'm just gonna stop by his door to make sure he's alright. That's stupid, of course he's alright, but I just need to make sure. 

I knocked at the door for 10 minutes straight.I called Levi on his phone for another 10 minutes, but nothing happened. I was freaked out, to say the least. I climbed the rest of the stairs to my apartment and as soon as I got in I started messaging Levi. I asked if he was angry with me, if he was alright, if he was ignoring me, if he doesn't want to see me anymore. The last one left a stinging feeling in my chest but I tryed to put it behind me, being too worried to let something so selfish cloud my mind. There had been 5 hours, in which I called Levi every 30 minutes. Call me a weirdo or a stalker but I was freacked out for fuck's sake. 

By the time I went to bed I could have had a heart attack. My blood was pumping too fast and yet too slow for my liking. I layed down on my bed and prayed for sleep to take me, which it did, after a few hours.. son of a bitch. I would have been better, if not for the nightmares. But I slept anyway.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up to the sound of an annoying buzzing, which I later realized was my phone. I threw the covers of my warm body in frustration and answerd the damn phone with a rudely :

"What."

"Errrr, is this Eren Jaegar ?" The warm, sweet voice on the other voice said, and as soon as she prounouced my full name I knew something was wrong.

"Yes ? Can I help you ?"

"Oh, hello. My name is Krista. I'm a nurse at Sina Hospital, and I'm calling for Levi ? Sound familiar ?" 

It took me a few seconds to comprehend that she said Levi and hospital in the same sentece, but when I finally caught up all I said was :

"I'll be right there." and ended the call without a goodbye. Maybe I was rude, but I couldn't care less at the moment. I got dressed in 5 minutes, which let me tell you, I should get a medal for, because fuck if I ever take less then 15 to change. After I brushed my teeth and washed my face at the speed of light, I got my keys, wallet and phone and ran down the stairs. I took a taxi and was in the reception of the hospital in less then 20 minutes. I looked at the women sitting behind the desk and breathed a soft 'Levi', hoping she would understand from the mess I was that I didn't have time for bullshit questions. Aparently, she did, bless her soul, and she gave me the number of Levi's room.

I stoped abruptly from my sprint in front of his room, took a few moments to compose myself, and slamed the door open. Probably not the best decision to 'slam' the door, but hey, the adrenaline in my vains was still high.

As soon as I saw his fragile looking body, a cast on his arm, his skin paler that usually, and the way his eyes were bloodshot, I was on the verge of crying. I took two fast steps towards him and hugged him like my life depended on it, and maybe it did.  
All I could think about, all I could say, was : "You're okay. You're okay."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took me a while, but I composed myself. After I released Levi from my hug, I took a sit on the chair next to his bed, looked him in the eye and started what I was sure would be a long conversation.

"What the fuck happened to you ?"

"Well, I'm glad to see you're alright too, you asshole." My Levi is alright. He's alright, thank god.

"I don't even know where to begin describing how happy I am you're okay, Levi. You have no idea. But, what happened ?" The look he was giving me softened considerably after the words left my mouth, and I have to say, he looked endearing.

"I ... got hit by a car."

"......" 

"Eren ?"  
"YOU WHAT ?!?"

After an hour of Levi explaining, and reassuring me he was alright, I realised something. He could've died. He... could've left the world, thinking nobody loved him, and I can't let that happen.

"Levi, I know this is sudden, but I'm... I ... like you."

"I like you too,Eren... but what does that have to do with anything ?"

"No, you don't understand." I got up from my seat, walked to the bed slowly, cuped his face in my hands, and looked in his stormy grey eyes, before leaning in and kissing him. His lips were soft and warm, and fitted perfectly against mine, but he didn't respond, so I broke the kiss after a few seconds. He looked shocked, to say the least, so I started explaining before he had the chance to call security, or kick me out himself.

"Look, I know you probably don't feel the same, but you could've died, and I need you to know how I feel. It's okay, I know you probably wouldn't feel the same, but I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship, cause I really care about you, and... about the kiss, I'm sorry about that too, I just didn't know how to tell you, but I promise it won't happen again." 

"Don't you dare !" He looked positively murderous.

"Don't I dare... what ?" I honestly have no idea what I did now. I already said I won't kiss him again, so what's the problem ?

"You brat, are going to kiss me whenever I feel like it. Or whenever you feel like it. You are not gonna stop. Got it ?" What does that even mean ? He want's me to kiss him ? He would let me kiss... him ? The reality of the situation hit me like a tone of bricks and my face split into a huge grin.

"You like me too." It wasn't a question, more like a staitment.

"Yes. Now stop looking so satisfied with yourself, you little shit and come sit here, I'm tired and want to sleep, but it's freezing here, you're warm. You have to sleep with me." The room was definetly not freezing, but I made no move to protest, and layed down next to him. I put an arm over his shoulder and one around his waist, he put his head on my chest and relaxed. His breaths started coming out even and short, but I needed to ask, even if it meant I was desturbing him.

"Levi, does this mean you're my boyfriend ?"

"No." was his short answer. He didn't even think about it. He just denied me.

"What do you mean 'no' ? I thought you liked me."

"I do like you, but for us to be daiting, I would have to answer a certain question." I could hear the smirk in his voice. He's such a fucking tease. I decided to ask him anyway.

"Levi, would you do me the honour of being my boyfriend ?"

"Yes Eren. I would love that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand boom. BOYFRIENDS !! didn't see that one coming, did you ? oh, you did ? oh well..
> 
> So, did you like Eren's pov ? btw, sorry I didn't let you know about it earlier.


	7. NOT A CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AUTORE NOTE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please read this

hey guys, I'm sorry I haven't writen in so long, but I.. kinda lost inspiration for this story ? I really am sorry. I'm gonna leave it here, on hiatus, maybe I'll continue it at some point, but I don't think so. Anyway, feel free to pick it up and continue it, or use the idea or whatever. I really am sorry. Bye.


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